Bonds

Some of the people featured in this post have long forgotten that this blog exists. Hurrah for friends with gainful employment and active social lives!

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This Year’s Break-ups

January. The first was Obi Wan Kenobi and Jawless Bastard. Five years down the drain because Jawless Bastard is genetically programmed to stick it in as many holes as possible. (Teeny tidbit: IT isn’t even huge. Jawless Bastard is built like a girl and looks like a stamp-collecting lesbian. Jawless Bastard’s man-slut reputation just baffles me. Hmmm,  maybe he has vibra-dick.) No thanks to Jawless Bastard’s relations who have accepted males cheating on their wives as kinda normal. Or maybe Obi Wan Kenobi and Jawless Bastard just got bored with each other. And no, there was no cheating involved.

February. The next was Caronia and Watsherfaceardiesomethingorother. Didn’t really know their story since Caronia moved to QC to work hence effectively cutting off our telebabad time drastically. The relationship was long distance. And when they met in person they didn’t even get to play Scissor Sisters or Munch-the-carpet. They’re not together now and they dislike each other.

March. Last was Pacman and Natalie. Natalie is a slut and a man-whore and an occasional liar. Pacman is the barkada’s resident moral police and tends to nag. When Natalie first cheated on Pacman, Pacman forgave Natalie. The trust was broken. Pacman nags. Natalie cheats. Blah Blah Blah. Cycle cycle cycle. Pacman’s self esteem hits rock-bottom and her nagging on her boyfriend even annoyed her friends and her friends sometimes wish that Natalie would just frigging cheat on Pacman again in plain view so that it would be over and done with. THAT didn’t happen though. Although they did grow differently from each other and became different persons and they fell out of love and now their nine-year relationship is officially over. For good.

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Sometimes I am scared that I love too much. Sometimes I feel stupid and silly that I am aiming for forever. Sometimes I dream that my boyfriend and I are dancing in a bar together–my eyes are at the door and I am hoping that someone better comes along. And sometimes in the dream, Someone Better comes and I see myself leaving my boyfriend alone on the floor. Sometimes I fantasize that I would catch him kissing/fucking someone else and that would give me a reason to leave him: a reason to go on a fucking rampage because I’m all hurt and shit but the truth is I’m just a horny fucker on a fucking rampage.

Sometimes the contradiction in me irks me. Sometimes I accept it as it is.

But mostly, I’m just thankful. Thankful for us. Thankful for him. Thankful that I’m stronger than my hormones.

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It has been a year, us, and I am happy.

Happy Anniversary, you lummox! Aye Heartzz You. With A “Z”. Two Zs even! Oho.

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