And so I received a text message from a friend extolling the virtues of love and that it’s all worth it to drop your guard, throw caution to the winds, make froufrou with reckless abandon, or words to that effect. I normally scoff at forwarded text messages and delete them with vehemence just for the sheer cliche-ness they contain but somehow this particular annoying text hit a chord inside me and kept on plucking at it that I can no longer ignore said chord-plucking text message.
So I’m risking it.
Because I’m too old and had been using cynicism as a mask for my idealism for far too long and it’s tiring and I don’t want to die alone with my hypothetical cat (Percival, who, by the way, is a total bitch) who’ll eat half my face before the stench of my decomposing body overwhelms my neighbors’ hatred for me and, en masse, they break down the door to jeer at my corpse.
And, well, because I’m thin again. Somewhat. Yesh. Self-esteem is inversely proportional to weight.
Plus, he’s cute. And I like him. And I haven’t seen him in a month. And I missed him. And I kept imagining us meeting at an airport to say goodbye and I run up to him and kissed him and blahblahblah love is a many splendored thing. And my friends’ eyebrows go on orbit whenever I lament his leaving. And when I saw him again last week I kept grinning like an idiot.
Sorry. I haven’t had a crush for the longest time. There.
But I’m not sure if he’s gay though. But Ron told me that he asked him if he’s hairy and he said yes and Ron asked him to show Ron his hairiness and he did by raising his shirt and he was hairy not that that’s of importance and whenever I joke at my table he laughs at my joke even if he’s on the other table and he seems to like me and I don’t know if maybe I’m just imagining his laughter or he liking me. That scares me. Unilateral delusion is scary but only upon confirmation.
It’s two days until confirmation review on Monday.
Two days.
I’m not going to declare my undying love for him. I’m only going to ask him out. But still. . . heee
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You’re not gonna die alone silly! Seeing as I too am a chronically single lowlife who is in danger of suffering the same fate, let’s troop together in our old age and collect cats! hahaha!
but i need teh sehks in my life.
and i already propositioned you and you refused. huhuhu.
Because it’s flat out weird. I’m female, if you haven’t noticed. Unless you’re turning lesbian on me. Hahaha!
what are you talking about? we are so totally meant for each other.
proof? go to http://www.janeandluis.com
seriously
What the?!! Who the hell were those people?!
that’s us in an alternate universe where testosterone and estrogen shots are readily available. hahaha.
That explains why I’m doomed to stay single for life then. Waaaaaaaah!!